Pitch, Treatment, Plot points and Script...

Pitch

Pest control robot entices pigeons to an explosive end, with a little help from a seagull.

Treatment

A robot, with "property of pest control" badge on his jacket. Is trying to look human and not evil is sat on a park bench. In the robots hands is some birdseed. A pigeon lands and looks at the robot, it can tell that the robot isn’t right, but likes the look of the birdseed. Another pigeon lands and another. They talk to each other and push the first one forward to get some seed. The pigeon edges closer, with encouraging chants from the other pigeons behind. The robot bleeps when the pigeon touches the grill. The pigeon, spooked jumps back. The robot does nothing, the pigeon touches the grill and again the robot bleeps, but does nothing. The pigeon eats wearily. The others, seeing that nothings happened come to eat to greedily. The robot bleeps lots with the influx of birds and starts to light up. Just before it lights up all the way a seagull lands and it scatters the pigeons. The Robots light fades. The seagull starts to eat, scattering seed, the robot half-light up. The pigeons all but one jump back up and start eating. The pigeon that doesn’t jump up starts eating the scattered grain. The robots lights up fully and explodes taking all the pigeons with it. All but the one who’s eating the scattered grain. It jumps looks around, thinks it was him that had made the robot exploded and sweeps some of the fallen feathers under a leaf and hops off.

Plot points

- A robot sat on a park bench offering birdseed
- A pigeon lands
- Pigeon looks at robot, pigeon is not impressed with what it see’s
- Pigeon looks at birdseed, it likes the look of that.
- Another pigeon lands
- And another
- And another
- Pigeons gather and chirp to each other.
- They decide that the first pigeon should go try the birdseed, so they push him forward.
- Pigeon edges towards robot
- Other pigeons make encouraging noises. At a safe distance,
- Pigeon touches robot, robot bleeps.
- Pigeon jumps back
- Robot doesn’t move.
- Pigeon touches robot, robot bleeps.
- Pigeon eats, wearily.
- The others rush in.
- Robots lights on chest start to rise as the pigeons eat.
- A seagull lands, pigeons jump off to get out of the way.
- Light fades on robot.
- Seagull eats scattering seed, robots light rises.
- Pigeons jump back on.
- One pigeons eats scattered seed away from robot.
- Light rises to full.
- Robot, seagull and pigeons explode.
- The one pigeon on floor jumps.
- Looks guilty and sweeps some of the falling feathers under a leaf.
- Pigeon hops away.

Script


EXT. PIGEON ONE ENTERS

PIGEON ONE hops onto screen from left to right. Pecking at the ground it hops along. Not really looking where it's going. He then hops into a foot. The foot has a SXF metallic clang. Cut to close up. Jumping the PIGEON ONE looks up. Cutting to a low angle long shot. To see a huge ROBOT sat on a park bench, with pest control stamped on its forehead.

EXT. PIGEON ONE SEEING GRAIN

PIGEON ONE see's resting on the robots knee's a tray with grain on. Shot in mid shot. Cut to POV of PIGEON ONE looking at grain.

EXT. PIGEON TWO AND THREE ENTER

Back to mid shot. PIGEON ONE is still stood there looking the robot up and down when PIGEON TWO and PIGEON THREE hop in, pecking. Cut to close up of PIGEON TWO and PIGEON Three’s excited reaction to seeing the grain.

EXT. PIGEON FOUR AND FIVE ENTER

Long shot of PIGEON TWO and PIGEON THREE hopping over to PIGEON ONE, who is still staring up at the ROBOT. PIGEON FOUR and PIGEON FIVE enter and also make there way to PIGEON ONE. Cut to mid shot of Pigeon’s ONE to FIVE stood in a group. PIGEON ONE keeps glancing back to the ROBOT. The Pigeon’s confers together. PIGEON TWO and PIGEON FIVE push PIGEON FOUR towards the ROBOT, who panics and rushes back to the group. Who are all laughing at him. Except PIGEON ONE who's walking over to the ROBOT.

EXT. PIGEON ONE GOES TO THE ROBOT

Cut to OS shot of PIGEON ONE walking over to ROBOT. Pigeon’s TWO to FIVE chanting in background. Cut to OS shot of ROBOT looming over PIGEON ONE who is now on the bench, just before the tray of grain. PIGEON TWO to FIVE in wide shot looking up at PIGEON ONE.

EXT. PIGEON ONE EATS THE GRAIN

Close up of PIGEON ONE looking down at the tray of grain. Cut to mid shot as PIGEON ONE steps onto tray. ROBOT’S gage twitches. Cut to long shot as PIGEON ONE jumps back off the tray, looking up at ROBOT. ROBOT doesn't move. PIGEON TWO to FIVE cower together. Cut to mid shot as PIGEON ONE steps cautiously back onto the tray. ROBOT’S gage twitches again. PIGEON ONE starts to peck.

EXT. ALL PIGEONS EAT

Mid shot of PIGEON TWO to FIVE seeing PIGEON ONE eating jump over each other towards ROBOT. Cut to Mid shot on ROBOT lap, PIGEON TWO to FIVE drive into the grain greedily. The ROBOT’S gage gets higher.

EXT. ENTER THE SEA GULL

Still in Mid Shot PIGEON ONE to FIVE eat messily. ROBOT’S gage still raising. They hear the call of SEA GULL (off frame), Pigeon’s stop and look up. SEA GULL swoops down coursing PIGEON THREE and FOUR to fall off the tray and PIGEON ONE off the park bench. ROBOT’S gage higher still with the arrival of the SEA GULL. PIGEON THREE and FOUR get up and rush back to the grain.

EXT. PIGEON ONE FINDS BOMB

Close up of PIGEON ONE picking itself up and sees under the bench a bomb. PIGEON ONE hops over to the front on the bench, looks up at ROBOT and see the gage get higher. PIGEON ONE understands that it’s a bomb. Cut to a close up of SEA GULL eating grain. Cut back to close up of PIGEON ONE with one of the bombs wire in his mouth, sweat on his brow. Cut to Mid shot of ROBOT’S gage getting higher. Back to close up of PIGEON ONE pulling the wire out. Back to close up of PIGEON THREE pecking. To PIGEON ONE opening his eye to see that the bomb hasn’t brown up. To ROBOT gage falling. Back to PIGEON ONE looking happy with itself. Cut to SEA GULL and PIGEON’S eating. Back to PIGEON ONE eating the fallen grain hopping away from the ROBOT.

FADE TO BLACK

Sound effect: Explosion.

EXT. ROBOT EXPLODES

Close up of PIGEON ONE who is stood stiffly, with big shocked eyes as feathers fall around it. Zoom out to long shot, there’s a scorch mark were the ROBOT once was.

END.


As you can see the story has developed. I did this to make the story more exciting, with twists and turns.